The first time I experienced death was when Timothy died. Now those of you who don't know who Timothy is, he was my neighbour's pet dog whom I used to play with as a kid. Every day after school, I would end up at their house, where Timothy would be waiting for me at the doorstep. Once I could not go for a few days due to exams. When the exams ended, I went to play with Timothy as usual. But to my surprise, Timothy was not there at the doorstep to greet me. I rang the doorbell only to find out that Timothy, my favourite playmate had passed away and that I will never be able to play with him again. Heartbroken with the news, I ran crying to my mom. She told me that Timothy had become a star in the sky and if I ever think of him all I have to do is look up at him.
The second time was when my grandmother passed away. It was a weird experience altogether. Everyone was sad no but no one had the time to mourn. As soon as the last rites were performed, everyone started rushing here and there to prepare for the rituals that followed. In all the hurry, we nearly forgot that we were sad for the lady who had a huge impact on our life. My mother also could allow the pain of watching her mother's body burn on a pyre to subside. All the faces who cried beside her body, the night when it was brought from the hospital were suddenly all around us, as we prepared for Dida's soul to find peace.
The fun thing about losing someone close is that you will never understand the void they left as long as there are people around you. So the first week is a mere cakewalk. The second week is when their absence hits you. When everyone around you has parted their ways, that's when you are left to process the hole that the person left in your life, hear the silence which you couldn't hear amongst the all the noise. And no matter how much people say that this too shall pass, the truth is you can never outrun that silence because no matter how far we stretch our arms, we can never grab a star.
Illustration by: Shreyas Gangopadhyay
コメント